Now all I need is a straw hat and a sandy dog

Why hello there, I hope that you're having a wonderful day, such as I am having the pleasure of experiencing. My tummy is full and happy with cake and cupcakes.  Hooray for birthday weeks! Anywho, I'm really starting to put the petal to the metal with these tasks, and with the harassment of a certain co-worker I am staying diligent! Today, I learned how to play the most cliche beginners ukulele song that people learn to play...which was 'I'm yours,' by Jason Mraz. I know you buggers suspected it,  but alas it had to be done. It was quite easy and to be honest I may have to continue this learning process because it's such a fun little toy. And deep down I know that my co-workers would have much rather heard my serenading than having me doing actual work.. that's how I see it in my mind anyway.
-Queen of Conquests

-Learn how to play one song on the ukulele

www.postsecret.com

Okay, so those of you familiar with the postsecret blog...you understand the concept, for those of you who have not experienced its wonderful(ness), here's a breakdown; Anonymous people send post cards that can be plain or exuberantly artistic to a man named Frank Warren. Then, every Sunday he uploads these postcards that have anonymous secrets. In a sense, I am kind of cheating because I have somewhat of an identity on this blog....buuuuuut I do have to provide photo documentation, and to be honest I don't mind if people know this secret. I think Frank would understand. Can I just mention that I have an undying love for crayons?
-Queen of Conquests




























-Make a postsecret and put it in Kingston

Next Andy Samberg...You Got Beef?

I am currently having quite the hipster blogging moment right now. Sitting in a library eating carrots...it doesn't get any better than that...well I think I'm supposed to be drinking starbucks instead and wearing my glasses, but hey carrots are close enough. Anyway, the weekend was such a glorious time to complete bucket list tasks. Well actually task...I was a little distracted with non-bucket list things...such as napping, and well beer..oh and cats. Love cats. As I was saying, I completed another task, which you know, was interesting, but jesus I should not have been put in charge of the safety of other people's lives. I drove (sailed?) my first boat on Sunday, and my goodness it was quite the event. They're not as easy to steer as one may think...and I may have sort of, soaked everyone on the boat (I kept head-butting Neptune's giant ass waves), but hey I'm a beginner, and since no one drowned, I think I did alright. Oh and if no one gets the witty title...lonely island did a song called 'I'm on a boat.' Get it? I was on a boat, wearing flippy floppies. No? Man, I need to come up with better wit.
-Queen of Conquests

-Drive a boat.
(there were nicer pictures of me being a happy little sailor...but I felt this pictures describes my actual feelings on driving a boat)

The Week From Hell

I've just been such a good blogger this week. I need a gold star or something...must find one. On to a more important note. This past week, from Monday July 16th, to Sunday July 22nd, I, the Queen of Conquests, went an ENTIRE week without ketchup. Now I know to many of you this does not seem like a huge feat...but I'm going to tell you right now...it is unlike anything you've imagined...Can you just picture putting food in your mouth and it literally tasting like something found on the bottom of your shoe? I don't think so, but I did it...all for the quest of the completion of this dang thing. A little background information on this special little condiment close to my heart...I have never eaten food without ketchup...EVER. Now I know this sounds a little extreme but I speak nothing but the truth. This week for the first time ever I tasted, chicken, roast, potatoes, vegetables, HOT DOGS, burgers, and fish without ketchup...and I'm going to tell you right now...food is disgusting folks. I thought I was going to die of scurvy. It was the ABSOLUTE worst, but I committed to this task and completed it. Thus you readers should be incredibly proud...ohhh and astounded because I could have died of starvation and then my cause would have been in vain. Now since I wasn't going to walk around carrying a camera to photograph everything I put into my mouth, I just took a picture of one of my dinners...NOTICE THE LACK OF KETCHUP....How I survived will forever astonish me.
-Queen of Conquests


-Go a week without eating Ketchup

Sometimes Little Kids Have the Right Idea

Hello once again you lovely internet people, you. I am pleased to announce that I have completed another task off the bucket list! Yes, I know that summer is quickly passing, but I promise you that many bucket items are in the process of being completed! I just tend to procrastinate because slacker is my middle name (I know some of you readers will understand this statement more than others). Okay, so this happened a while ago, it has just taken a long time for me to get photo documentation. Let's start from the beginning shall we? This year, I became friends with this really badass girl; literally looks like the epitome of cool, anyway turns out not only is she awesome, but so is her family (good genes I assume). Anyway, in this picture is my badass friend's mom. When I went to visit them this summer, it BLEW my mind that she made her daughters pinky swear instead of insisting on a measly promise. I thought to myself "damn this woman's got it right." You see I have this theory. Promises get broken all the time, it's just a word, but pinky swears, well they're actual connections of two people making something more binding. When you were a little kid, it was one of the worst things in the world to break a pinky swear...well besides having your chicken mcnuggets stolen by your little sister. They're simple, but man, you don't go back on that shit let me tell you. Anyway, I am a firm believer of the pinky swear, because you can't break those by crossing your fingers behind your back. They are the building blocks of trust, and well just plain cool.

That is all for now fellow readers. I shall be more diligent with my task completion....haha who am I kidding. I'm a last minute kinda-gal...jesus I sound like a cowboy. Yeehaw
-Queen of Conquests





-Meet someone who believes in pinky swears like I do

I Went on a Bucket List Shopping Spree

Greetings to whomever is pondering the internet instead of sleeping like a proper human being should. So I know I haven't posted in a while buuuuuuut, I have finally accomplished some bucket list things! I have to say I am pretty impressed with myself and the recent events, but at the same time, I have decided to chicken out and do the easy things before I get down into the nitty gritty of hand holding and egg throwing. Also noted, it really bothers me how I cannot indent these paragraphs, this is very grammatically wrong and I want to punt my computer a little bit. Just thought I would throw that in there. Okay so here are the things I've accomplished in the past 72 hours-ish.

-Sitting on a dock watching the sunset. This was probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, well besides Prince Harry's face of course. This picture required a lot of perfect timing, and beer, and ice cream, and the sweeping of duck shit..but it was accomplished none the less. Duly noted, we also have badass bottoms on.





Have a Picnic- This girl is more on the ball with my bucket list than I am. Also I'm incredibly awkward when it comes to taking pictures. Also, I do own more bottoms than this bright green thing you people keep seeing. Also, that sandwich was friggen delicious. Oh yeah, this is probably one of the nicest things someone has done for me....oh and I had a lot of grass stuck to my ass after this picture was taken.

Jump into water without plugging my nose- I am going to be straight up completely honest, this was more terrifying than riding on the back of a motorcycle...I'm not kidding. The fear of water burning every orifice inside your nostril is probably the worst feeling in the world, well besides being kicked in the testicles but I don't have those so this is just an assumption. But I did it; water was snorted and for some reason it made my eye burn, but at least I've accomplished what most people do... at the age of 5. AND I AM NEVER DOING IT AGAIN.

Smoke weed in a public place- I have to say I feel like a bit of a badass for posting this picture...as well as a tad petrified that at any minute mounties are going to show up at my door step and find some sort of way to inflict the death penalty upon me.

Ride on the back of a motorcycle- Okay so, technically this is the second time I have been on this young fellow's motorcycle buuut being as scatter brained as I am, I forgot to document, and well it's kinda the most fun thing ever so I didn't mind. Any-who, we went on a highway; I thought I was going to die. It was a very lovely near death experience, and all I kept thinking was "I hope my shoes will still be in tact when they scrape me off the highway."




Well there you go people-who-have-nothing-better-to-do-than-read-about-my-trivial-life. I am aware that most of these things are done by the average person, but based on my bucket list an assumption can be made that I'm not "technically" average; I'm more of a 6 year old trapped in a 20 year olds body, with the attention span of a squirrel on crack. I will continue my adventure for all of you lovely people who are taking the time to read this blog, and I hope you receive a miniscule piece of the enjoyment of my epic piece of enjoyment. I guess, the crumb to my chocolate cake...wait bad analogy...I hate cake. Crap.
-The queen of conquests

The beginning. The challenge.

Well this is quite a process in itself. I've never been one to deem myself as interesting enough to engage in the blogging experience, but I felt that the "conquest of summer 2012," needed to be documented. This summer is my last summer in Canada, not only as a teenager but before I  move to the UK for an entire year...and who knows maybe forever. Thus, my soul and brain commanded me to create a bucket list that needed to be accomplished. So fellow readers here is the list that I need to complete before I hop on that plane. I will update this blog every time one of these tasks has been completed, along with photo documentation as confirmation. Personal record and all that jazz.

The Bucket List

• Ride on the back of a motorcycle
• Learn to play one song on the ukulele 
• Skip double dutch (I did this when I was like 8, but I feel as a soon to be 20 year old it has to happen in my homeland again)
• Smoke weed in a public place
• Throw an egg at someone (I know this is mean, but come on half of you fuckers have either had an egg thrown at you or have done it. I've experienced it and it makes for a funny story)
• See as many bands as I can afford
• Jump off a bridge into water
• Graffiti something (it will be something inspirational I swear)
• Fill up as many marble slab cards as possible (at the rate I'm going I'll probably be the size of an elephant plus have a million cards at the end of the summer)
• Get someone (a male) to grow a mustache for me
• Drive a boat
• Get my license (Yes, it's pathetic...I'm almost 20)
• Drive fast on a road (this means going beyond 60km)
• Hold someone's hand (yes I've done it before but this is more of a "Oooh I like you and I'm going to awkwardly hold your hand" event)
• Stretch my ears
• Get another tattoo
• Sleep under the stars without a tent
• Jump in the water without plugging my nose (again pathetic I'm aware, but don't worry I can swim!)
• Set off a firework
• Swim under the moon
• Find a secret hiding spot
• Pet a duck 
• Play an entire guitar song in front of someone (I'm deathly shy when it comes to this business)
• Have a real picnic
• Try every flavour of dunkaroos (don't worry, I question my childhood sometimes too)
• Sit on a dock and watch the sun set
• Meet someone who believes in pinky swears like I do
• Make a postsecret and put it in Kingston (I am a loyal follower of the postsecret blog, check it out!)
• Go a week without eating ketchup (I'm addicted...I'm not kidding)
• Sit on a roof
• Hop on a random bus on a random day
• Make 100 friendship bracelet

Well, there you have it folks...The conquest of my summer. The majority of these things are miniscule and non-life changing, but I feel the need to accomplish them. Stay tuned and pray I don't get in too much trouble!
-The queen of conquests.